A Birthday Reflection: liFe is fragile

By Nancy Jalowiecki

No matter where you’ve been in life, you are worthy of a happy, abundant and fulfilled one. Have faith! - Nancy Jalowiecki

As August came to an end, I found myself pausing to reflect on a month that held both deep joy and profound sorrow. Life reminded me once again of its unpredictable rhythm, and how it can bring us moments of celebration and healing, only to follow with unexpected loss.

On August 29th, I received a call that Ed’s mom, Grandma Sharon, had been found unresponsive shortly after eating her dinner and was being rushed to the hospital. In a haze of worry, Mike, the girls and I immediately rushed out the door to the hospital in Connecticut. Unfortunately, we were too late. She had passed before we arrived. We are devastated. This loss was sudden and deeply painful. We were looking forward to celebrating her 80th birthday in November. Now, as September begins, we are instead planning her funeral and navigating grief once again.

As we enter September, I carry all of it: the joy of my anniversary, the fear of emergency rooms, the pain of sudden loss, and the quiet strength that healing begins to uncover.

Through it all, one truth keeps surfacing: life is in constant motion. It does not pause, not for pain, nor for joy. It keeps moving, and somehow, so must we. With every high and low, we are reminded to stay present, to hold on to the moments that matter, and to walk forward with grief, not away from it.

Sometimes the last thing we expect is what we are being faced with, that is life in motion. September is a special month for me as it is my birthday! As I reflect on another year passed and look forward to the year ahead, I am reminded that life is fragile and each day is a gift to cherish. Celebrate with those around you. Try to let go of grudges and forgive. Life is too short. Each year, I ask myself, and I invite you to do so as well, if this resonates with you:

• Have I been present with the people I love?

• Have I recently told them how much they mean to me?

• Have I shown kindness, even in small moments?

As I grow older, I start to realize that it’s not about where I’ve been, it’s about where I am, right here, right now. It's about becoming aware of my breath, of life, and living in the moment as much as I can with each experience. This technique takes some conscious effort, and consistent practice, but I can tell you, the benefits are very rewarding!

I used to think milestones were all about accomplishments, how much you’ve done, how far you’ve come. Even though there is some truth to this, with time I’ve learned that what really matters is how present you are with everything you do and your ability to love others unconditionally. Especially when the person you love is no longer here in the physical form, you need to learn how to open your heart to accept your grief which is something that you can’t change. 

This year, I will be celebrating with intention. I am calling all the people I love. I am making sure to give a longer hug. I am telling someone “I love you” without waiting. It doesn’t need to be a perfect moment. Really, all of them are! Just letting them know you care, at any random time, makes it even more special.

And with love, I invite you to join me and open your heart and enjoy the experience of the magical moments you share with your loved ones. A hug, a kiss, simply embracing the act of saying “I love you.” to someone special.

Perhaps, there’s a special someone in your heart right now. Someone who you haven’t spoken to in a while, but they were there for you when you needed them the most. Maybe a friend from childhood that you have not seen or talked to in a long time. Observe what thoughts come to mind.

Exercise:

In honor of the gift of now, I invite you to write a message, pick up the phone, or send a letter filled with joyful, uplifting words to fill this special person’s heart with love. Maybe there is a person in the physical or spiritual that you can give a bear hug to and say, “I love you.” Or, that person can be you!  Yes, you! 

Remember that you don’t need a special occasion or the perfect words to celebrate someone you care about, you only need to be present and have a heart filled with love. (That should be easy!) When you give your love without holding back it comes back to you, stronger and better than it came out, and that to me, is the best kind of birthday gift.